Thursday, March 13, 2008
Letting Go for New Beginnings
Wow! That’s how I felt teaching the Live Drumming Yoga class in Park Slope earlier this week. It was a poetic ending to my four years with the gym and ironic that four years ago I took a live drumming class in Manhattan that unblocked my lower two Chakras after a painful and arduous c-section. Monday night's class was packed, as expected, and everyone was ready to work. I didn’t even notice if anyone was sweating, but I could tell that everyone was discovering something about himself or herself between the drum and my calling out poses and demanding breath and a warrior spirit to drive each person forward. One of my students described it as sublime and indeed it was. I truly left class walking on clouds and did not want to go to sleep, because I was so charged from the class. That is what yoga is all about.
Many of my students have been asking why I’m leaving the gym and if this was something sudden or pre-planned. First, it is both planned and sudden. At the close of every year, I get pensive and reflective and almost put myself on an interview asking where I see myself in a year, five years, etc. This year I had two major New Year’s Resolutions and that was 1) to learn all of my students’ names and 2) to open my own yoga studio. The latter I kept a little more quiet, especially in the gym. It is a process and I have been working toward it since January and continue to build my own classes in Bay Ridge and check out spaces that might work for what I want to achieve.
At first, I said to myself and others that I would keep the gym as a safety net even after I open my studio. This made sense when I first said it, but sometimes the universe knows better. I have had some loud and clear messages from people and from my own inner voice over the past several months. I’ve reconnected with the creative writer in myself with the nudge of a passionate and vocal yoga student. I even went to my very first writer’s conference this year thanks to that nudge. At the same time, I have had many frustrations both personally and professionally. When these happen, I believe the universe is asking us to change. We cannot change others, though we’d like to and keep everything else the same. So I meditated and asked for guidance and peace. With the help of a very talented and intuitive Reiki healer, I finally let go of some major baggage and opened myself up to possibilities. This happened about a month ago.
Just about that time, the gym that I have been with for four beautiful and wonderful years, suddenly felt like it didn’t fit anymore. It was like the boyfriend that was a wonderful guy, but we had grown apart and were no longer a good match. The dirty socks on the floor, the feet on the table, everything about “him” was beginning to annoy me. Remember those relationships? It’s nobody’s fault, it’s just the universe asking you to change. You’ve grown. Grown apart and it’s time to move on so you can continue to grow (or stay and be miserable and stagnate). The few weeks after being cleared by Reiki, the messages from the universe were becoming clearer. And then after a weekend of strongly considering leaving my post as yoga teacher at the gym, my husband suggested I meditate on my decision. When I did meditate on it, the message was perfectly clear—like the drums from the Park Slope class—“It’s time to move on, Michelle.” I gave my notice moments after.
In order for me to allow this new venture to begin, I had to release the old. The hardest part of this decision was all of the beautiful and wonderful souls I have met and taught over the past four years. One student has been with me all four years. Some have overcome injuries. Others I have watched grow from beginner yogis into teachers. And many have fallen deeper into a yoga practice far beyond the physical. It has been a beautiful experience for me as a teacher. All of my students have taught me something about themselves, myself and yoga. Yet, I have to have faith that leaving doesn’t mean goodbye and certainly doesn’t mean forever. Whether students move on to find another teacher that can help them grow and learn or they decide to continue practicing with me isn’t as important to me as knowing I have given of myself, I have shared my knowledge and love of yoga and hopefully left yoga in a lot of hearts so that they will continue practicing yoga for life.
Since this was sooner than I had planned, I now have the task of coordinating a new schedule to appeal to the masses and continue to look for a bigger space in Bay Ridge (and maybe even something in Park Slope) that I can hang my own sign on and create a beautiful place to practice yoga. I am so looking forward to this new adventure and evolving as a teacher and yogi myself. I trust that the students that have touched me will remain in my life, terrestrial or spiritual. Thank you for four beautiful years. May this launch another four or more decades of Shanti Baby Yoga.
Many of my students have been asking why I’m leaving the gym and if this was something sudden or pre-planned. First, it is both planned and sudden. At the close of every year, I get pensive and reflective and almost put myself on an interview asking where I see myself in a year, five years, etc. This year I had two major New Year’s Resolutions and that was 1) to learn all of my students’ names and 2) to open my own yoga studio. The latter I kept a little more quiet, especially in the gym. It is a process and I have been working toward it since January and continue to build my own classes in Bay Ridge and check out spaces that might work for what I want to achieve.
At first, I said to myself and others that I would keep the gym as a safety net even after I open my studio. This made sense when I first said it, but sometimes the universe knows better. I have had some loud and clear messages from people and from my own inner voice over the past several months. I’ve reconnected with the creative writer in myself with the nudge of a passionate and vocal yoga student. I even went to my very first writer’s conference this year thanks to that nudge. At the same time, I have had many frustrations both personally and professionally. When these happen, I believe the universe is asking us to change. We cannot change others, though we’d like to and keep everything else the same. So I meditated and asked for guidance and peace. With the help of a very talented and intuitive Reiki healer, I finally let go of some major baggage and opened myself up to possibilities. This happened about a month ago.
Just about that time, the gym that I have been with for four beautiful and wonderful years, suddenly felt like it didn’t fit anymore. It was like the boyfriend that was a wonderful guy, but we had grown apart and were no longer a good match. The dirty socks on the floor, the feet on the table, everything about “him” was beginning to annoy me. Remember those relationships? It’s nobody’s fault, it’s just the universe asking you to change. You’ve grown. Grown apart and it’s time to move on so you can continue to grow (or stay and be miserable and stagnate). The few weeks after being cleared by Reiki, the messages from the universe were becoming clearer. And then after a weekend of strongly considering leaving my post as yoga teacher at the gym, my husband suggested I meditate on my decision. When I did meditate on it, the message was perfectly clear—like the drums from the Park Slope class—“It’s time to move on, Michelle.” I gave my notice moments after.
In order for me to allow this new venture to begin, I had to release the old. The hardest part of this decision was all of the beautiful and wonderful souls I have met and taught over the past four years. One student has been with me all four years. Some have overcome injuries. Others I have watched grow from beginner yogis into teachers. And many have fallen deeper into a yoga practice far beyond the physical. It has been a beautiful experience for me as a teacher. All of my students have taught me something about themselves, myself and yoga. Yet, I have to have faith that leaving doesn’t mean goodbye and certainly doesn’t mean forever. Whether students move on to find another teacher that can help them grow and learn or they decide to continue practicing with me isn’t as important to me as knowing I have given of myself, I have shared my knowledge and love of yoga and hopefully left yoga in a lot of hearts so that they will continue practicing yoga for life.
Since this was sooner than I had planned, I now have the task of coordinating a new schedule to appeal to the masses and continue to look for a bigger space in Bay Ridge (and maybe even something in Park Slope) that I can hang my own sign on and create a beautiful place to practice yoga. I am so looking forward to this new adventure and evolving as a teacher and yogi myself. I trust that the students that have touched me will remain in my life, terrestrial or spiritual. Thank you for four beautiful years. May this launch another four or more decades of Shanti Baby Yoga.
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I know I'm a bit late in responding to your blog, but it was great to read about your decision-making process. I know you'll find a space, and in the meantime, keep serving a great need in the community. Good luck!
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